that's what he said wednesday :: the beginning of the end

well, it's finally happened. the little dude, the most well behaved child on the planet, brought home a "card" from school yesterday.



"pulling a card" is their discipline system at school. it comes with a huge stigma both at school and in our home. basically, there are several different colored cards, each representing worse behavior. when a child misbehaves he "pulls a card". it's filled out by the teacher and sent home for the parents to sign and return the next day. from the beginning of the school year the little dude would come home and tell us about who had been naughty that day and "pulled a card". we had many discussions about how we didn't want to see any cards brought home.

i was shocked when he got off the bus and immediately told me that he had pulled a card. you could tell that he was nervous about telling me but i was proud that he wasn't trying to hide it. we weren't able to get much out of him about what happened other than what the teacher had written on his card.



it says: "usually finley is an excellent listener, but today he was talking in the hallway after being reminded." in our own admission, not a huge deal. however, being his first card, we wanted to make sure the punishment was something that would deter him from bringing another one home. his punishment was no legos from tusday night until saturday...a pretty big punishment for a 5 year old, but we wanted to make it clear that we weren't happy about the card. at the same time we also wanted him to know that it didn't change how we felt about him and that we loved him very much.

fast forward to today as i was taking the little dude to school. the baby was along in the car and they were having a giggle session over some "poop" talk. this was not something we had a problem with until about 2 or 3 weeks ago. suddenly everything is "poop" this and "poop" that. i had enough and told them in the car that every single time they said the word poop, they were going to move down their winning stick 3 spots. (a pretty big punishment. 3 spots is a LOT.)

we got to school a little early and i was talking to the little dude about yesterday trying to get some more details about what happened. here's our conversation:

me: "so did mrs. w. punish you for pulling a card? like did you have to put your head down on the desk for awhile?"

l.d.: "yes, i had to put my head down and i missed water break, but then she said i could get up"

me: "so did you say you were sorry for not listening and pulling a card?"

l.d.: "no, i just put my head down."

me: "ok, well today when you see mrs. w. i want you to tell her you're sorry for not listening and for pulling a card."

l.d.: "ok."

me: "so were you talking with someone else in the hallway and goofing around?"

l.d.: "yeah, me and "d" were talking."

me: "what were you talking about that was so important?"

l.d.: [whispering] "i don't want to say it out loud because i'll move down my winning stick 3 spots."